A Promise To Keep
by ABitOLiterature
Summary: You have no clue what you have until it's taken away from you in the blink of eye. Nick will keep his promise to Ellis, he'll take it to his grave.


Story: Hannibal's Fannibal

Song: Gotye, Out Here In The Cold

Nick and Ellis: Valve

WARNING: MalexMale, Language, and Sadness

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PLEASE READ DISCRIPTION

His footsteps were slow and heavy, he was defeated. Snow clung to his eyelashes but the hot tears melted them away.

Ellis was waiting in the living room, the clock ticked to 2:00 in the morning, he had waiting up all night for his lover.

There were sudden beams of light dashing through the curtains, Nick pulled into the driveway, snow crunching under the tires.

Ellis jumped up and moved to take a seat at the kitchen table, he wanted to be the first thing Nick would see upon arriving.

There were foot steps, Ellis could hear the garage door shutting as Nick walked to the door and fished for the keys.

There was a "click" and then the door swung open with a crash as it hit the wall beside it. Ellis jumped at the sound but held his ground at the table, he latched his eyes onto Nick's and glared at the older man.

"Where yew been?"

Nick grunted at him and kicked off his expensive shoes.

"Doesn't matter."

Ellis slammed his fists onto the table and stood up, angered.

"Yew see, that's the problem…yew run off an don't git back 'till late. I worry bout'chew and yew jus' take advantage of that. Yew don't answer yer phone, yew don't call me, wha's I supposed to tew think, whut if yew git into trouble?"

Nick didn't say anything, he just continued to remove his shoes and shake off his snow crusted jacket.

"Do yew hear me?!"

"It's kinda heard not to with you yelling at me El!"

Ellis backed down, lowering the tone of his voice and looked at his feet, tears swelled at his eyes.

"Whut's happened to us Nick?"

Nick brushed himself off and strode past Ellis, ignoring his question and heading for the bathroom.

Ellis grabbed at Nick's shoulder and spun him around until they locked eyes.

"Answer me Nick."

"…"

"Answer the question damnit!"

Nick shook Ellis' hands off of him and glared down at the young mechanic.

"You wanna know what's happened to us?"

Ellis nodded his head, a tear ran down his cheek, it broke Nick's heart.

"We aren't compatible."

Ellis looked taken back, shock ran across his face.

"Excuse me?"

"We aren't compatible."

Nick turned his back to Ellis once again and stomped to the bathroom, he slammed to door as hard as he could and turned on the sink faucet. Nick took a handful of the cold water and splashed it onto his face, his dark chocolate brown hair fell out of the gel and into his face, he wiped it away and frowned at the mirror.

Him and Ellis had been together for three years now, after the Green Flu had finally been handled and eliminated, the two lovers had decided to buy a house and live out their lives together. What Nick hadn't expected was that all his old habits to return to him, once the world had been repaired, so had all his old problems. Nick gambled, he won more than he lost, but his losses were always enormous, it always hurt Ellis more than him, but since Nick was Nick, he did it anyway.

Nick smoked and he drank, he would stay out late at the bars and drink himself silly, he'd come home late and argue with Ellis. Nick had lost track of how many fights him and his lover had had, it was the same thing each week, Ellis would often kick him out of the house, leaving him to stay the night at a motel.

Nick couldn't think of a reason for his actions, they were all on impulse.

Ellis was too kind and sweet to often handle all the trouble Nick would cause, it all fell heavily onto his shoulders. Why did Nick do it? Did he not see what he was doing to Ellis?

Nick continued to stare into the mirror, he left the cold water trickle down his frowning face.

He could hear soft footsteps outside the bathroom door.

"Nick…can I come in?"

"No."

Nick's words were harsh and dark, Ellis sulked even more.

"Nick we need to talk."

"There's nothing to talk about. Yeah I was home late again, so what?"

"That's not all Nick."

Nick dried off his face and swung the door open, Ellis looked up at him, eyes red from crying.

"What? What could there possibly be left?!"

Ellis paused for a moment.

"I don't know how much more of this I can take Nick, M' hurtin' real bad lately."

"Am I supposed to care?"

Ellis suddenly swung his head up in anger, tears filled his eyes once again.

"Hell yeah yew are! Yer mah partner, we're 'spossed to care fer each other, I thought we agreed on that when we decided tah move in together!"

Nick felt his blood boil, he hated this, he hated all of it, all the stress and sadness.

"Well Fuck El, calm down, you're not my mom, and it isn't like we're married, calm the fuck down."

Nick tried to push past Ellis, but Ellis blocked his path, he reached into his pocket and sobbed a bit when he felt his fingers graze the small velvet box, he pulled it out and squeezed it in his fist.

"Yeah Nick…I guess yer right, 'M not yer mom, and I definitely ain't married to yew either am I? Guess I wont be needin' this now will I?"

Ellis dropped the box back into his pocket and turned around heading for their bedroom, he locked the door behind him and ran to the bed. Ellis fell onto the soft red fabric and inhaled the smell of Nick, he let his tears soak into the fabric as he absorbed the smell of a happier Nick he had met so long ago.

It took a moment to register what had just happened, once he heard the bedroom door rattle shut he squeezed his fists together.

Nick sighed, his chest began to tighten as he walked to the bedroom door, finding it locked, he sighed once more.

"Ellis?"

Ellis didn't respond, he only sobbed louder, breaking Nick's heart into even smaller pieces.

"Ellis please open the door."

The sobbing quieted to sniffling as Ellis tried to calm himself.

"No Nick, I ain't doin; this no more…"

"Ellis I…"

"Tomorrow I'll get my stuff ready, I'll probably need to make two trips, but by the end of the day it'll be like I was never here."

"Ellis don't say that I…"

"No, I can't take no more of this…Nick…"

Nick held his breath, don't say it, don't say it!

"Nick, it's over."

Nick lost it, he stomped off down the hall, he grabbed anything delicate looking he could find and threw it randomly. He picked up a blue colored vase and chucked it at the wall behind him, it smashed into tiny pieces.

Nick didn't remember how he got to the couch, but he lay there, tears falling down his face, and alcohol rocking him to sleep. The adrenaline had worn off and all he was left with now was a defeated and broken heart…what had he done.

Once Ellis was sure Nick was asleep, he took off out of the house, he ran, ran away from the sadness, away from the memories.

The snow stung his bare arms, he had left his coat on the hook when he had sprinted out the door, he just ran, he knew where he was headed and knew what he was going to do, it was time.

Nick woke and sat up from his position on the couch, a headache stinging at his head.

The gambler looked over at the clock on the wall.

3:32

Had that short of a time passed? It felt like he had been sleeping for hours.

Nick stood up and walked towards the bedroom, thinking of a worthy apology. He rubbed his eyes and found the bedroom door open, his brows furrowed in confusion and he entered the room. He looked around for his lover but found no trace until a small white object caught his eye, there was a note sitting on top of his pillow.

-Nick-

I am sorry this is what we've come to, but I cannot take the sadness anymore.

I am nothing without your love, and I now see that you no longer have any love to give me, after all, we aren't compatible remember?

Know that I will always have love to give you.

-Promise to live on for me-

-Ellis Brown-

"NO!"

Nick ran out the door frantically searching for any sign of his lover.

There were footprints in the snow, Nick ran back inside and snatched up what he thought was his jacket only to find that it was Ellis'.

"That idiot, it's too cold out there to go without a coat!"

Nick didn't have time to go back for his, he swung on Ellis' coat and sprinted toward the direction the footprints headed.

It was still somewhat dark outside but Ellis trudged on, not much farther now he thought to himself, he continued to follow the train tracks, the sound of the train's horn not too far away.

Nick felt as if his heart was sitting in his mouth, he swallowed it back down as he continued to follow the footprints.

"WHOO WHOOOOOOO!"

Nick froze…

"Oh no…God NO!"

Nick sprinted as fast as his body would let him, even faster than that, he ran toward the train tracks.

Ellis could hear the train fast approaching, he smiled sadly into the salty tears as his boots finally hit the metal tracks.

The snow had started to fall thickly, making it hard for Nick to see, and with the train fast approaching he could swear he was on the verge of a heart attack.

Nick ran faster and then froze, all the color leaving his face.

Ellis was standing on the tracks, his arms were outstretched as if he were going to give someone a hug.

"E…"

"WHOO WHOOOOOO!"

"Ellis NO!"

There was snow falling slowly, it danced down from the sky and onto the ground.

A sharply dressed old man brushed a few flakes out of his grey hair, the feeling of hardened gel tickled his aged fingers.

He sighed and slowly knelt down, he reached a hand out to set it on a piece of carved stone, his other hand clenched a small black velvet box to his heart. The man opened the box and pulled out a handsome silver ring, he slipped it onto his wrinkled ring finger and placed the box back inside his pocket.

The man then reached inside his breast pocket and pulled out an identical box, this one a deep blue.

The man opened the ring box and clasped a golden ring in his fingers, he reached out to the stone and smiled.

"Will you marry me?"

When there was no reply, the man sighed and put the ring back inside its box, stood up and walked away with his cane, the snow blowing around him as he slowly limped away.

It had been almost thirty years since the death of Ellis Brown, a suicidal death involving a train. Nicolas Bandino, Ellis' partner, has returned to his lover's grave every day since, and each year, on the anniversary of Ellis' death, Nick pulls out a ring box and proposes to Ellis' gravestone.

Many people ask Nick why he continues on living at all, and he always replies with a simple statement, the same one each time.

"I have a promise to keep."


End file.
